


Clarke's Journal

by PrincessOfTheUnderdark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12657327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessOfTheUnderdark/pseuds/PrincessOfTheUnderdark
Summary: Lexa can't stop herself when it comes to Clarke's writing. Afraid of her feelings, Lexa avoids showing how much she cares for Clarke. Clexa pairing. Sorry if this sucks. Read and review please. Hopefully the story is to your liking. Ideas would be greatly appreciated.





	1. Don't Leave Things Lying Around

Lexa loved to read, she often came across books from the Old World in her travels. Her favorite book however, was Clarke's journal. She knew it was wrong to invade Clarke's space like that but she couldn't help it. Clarke wrote such wonderful things, it simply captivated Lexa. The way Clarke talked about Lexa was more than flattering to the Commander, she wished for these sentiments come out of Clarke's mouth, instead of her pen.  
Lexa remembered the day she had surprised Clarke with the Paper and several pens and other writing implements. She had thought that Clarke would use them for drawing, they were more portable than her large sketch pad. Clarke's eyes had lit up with excitement when Lexa showed her the gift. A small smile graced Lexa's lips at the memory. Clarke was an infinite source of joy for the Heda, though she would never admit it aloud. Clarke was special and she found it hard to deny the Sky Princess anything. Clarke had requested these items and Lexa did not disappoint. The smile of pure delight on Clarke's face was more than enough reward for the trouble the brunette had gone through.  
When Lexa first discovered Clarke's talent for writing, it had been about a month since Clarke had received the notebook and it was rarely out of her sight. That day however, it had been left on the war table after one of the many meetings they had delegated between the thirteen clans. It caught Lexa's attention when she started to pack away the maps littering the table. The book had fallen off the table when Lexa had picked up a map that had been underneath it. When she went to retrieve it she noticed that on the open page was, not a drawing, but writing. She had picked it up with the intent on closing it and swiftly returning it to the blonde, but her curiosity won out. Elegant cursive flowed across the page and Lexa found it to be as enticing as the blonde whom it belonged to.  
As Lexa scanned the page she saw her name several times and couldn't stop herself from reading it. I should be paying attention to these meetings, but every time I look up I am distracted by forest green eyes and braided brunette hair… Lexa. Her gaze is powerful as she handles whatever problems are being thrown at her by the clan leaders. I could lose myself in that gaze, although I would prefer encountering it in the throes of passion. I know I told her I wasn't ready, but every time another person looks at her I feel the coiling of jealousy deep inside me. She is so smart, I love every interaction with her. Even now, as she is quite fittingly commanding twelve of the most powerful clan leaders, I see the passion burning in her eyes and I yearn for that gaze to be pinned on me. Even her name…Lexa, it brings tingles to my spine. Lexa gulped and closed the book quickly, she had no idea that Clarke felt these things.  
"Lexa," Clarke's voice rang out from the front of the tent, "Oh, there it is. I can't believe I forgot it." Clarke stepped forward and held her hand out for the journal that was still in Lexa's hand.  
"Oh, umm. Yeah I was just getting ready to bring it to you," Lexa's ears turned red as she handed the book over.  
Ever since that incident Lexa found herself sneaking peaks at what the blonde was writing and when she got the chance she would actually read entries in their entirety. Now that they were in Polis, it was much easier for her to get her hands on the journal. Lexa often waited until Clarke retired for the night and then snuck in to read what she had been writing about that day. When Lexa had read all of the new entries she would sit and watch the blonde sleep and wonder about what it would be like to be called hers.  
As powerful a warrior that Lexa was, she was very fearful of the things she felt toward the Sky Princess. Ever since what happened to Costia, she was apprehensive of any relationship. Love is weakness, it had been drilled into her head since becoming Commander. Lexa was stubborn though and she yearned to be wanted by another. Yet when she looked at Clarke she felt panicked and wanted to run the other way.  
Thinking back to the last entry she read, Lexa wondered if she should try to let the blonde know that her feelings were not one sided. Clarke's words seemed sad; I wonder if she even knows I exist. I find myself staring at her and feel a sense of pride before I am reminded that she is not mine. Ever since the kiss she allowed before the fall of Mount Weather, I may as well have been invisible to her. I know I said I wasn't ready, but there was a battle before us and Finn's death behind me. How was I supposed to know that she would close herself off, to everyone it seems. I overheard Indra mention to Octavia that Heda had been unreasonably cold toward some of her warriors as of late. I didn't want to hurt Lexa, I think I may love her. Not that it matters, she probably doesn't want anything to do with me now. I wish I had let her take that kiss further, I feel things for her that are embedded deep within my soul. I guess I will never know the feel of her hand resting in mine, the taste of her lips, the way she looks in the morning sun when she first wakes up, or how beautiful she looks after making love, or how passionate she is in bed (although, I imagine that it is much like the passion she displays in battle). I hope one day she realizes how deeply I care for her.   
After watching Clarke sleep for a while longer Lexa decided that she would most definitely have to do something to show Clarke how she felt.  
The next morning Clarke awoke to a bouquet of sunflowers by her bed. Upon further inspection she saw that there was a note. In scrawling calligraphy it read; I hope these brighten your day as much as you brighten mine. Clarke was dumbfounded, she had no idea who they could be from, although she knew who she wanted them to be from. Clarke sketched the flowers in her journal before heading to breakfast. One thing she loved about Polis, was staying at the Commander's home. Each morning the kitchen was overflowing with a vast array of food to choose from. As she sat at the table she wrote in her journal about the flowers.  
I woke up to a beautiful surprise this morning. I have no idea whom they could be from, but it's nice to think that maybe they are from Lexa. I know that is probably just wishful thinking but I don't care. She looks even more beautiful today, carefree and less stressed. I suppose it helps that the clans are now at peace. She was chosen to lead at such a young age, I can't imagine she has had many times like these. I wish I could tell her how proud of her I am and how much I adore her. I hope whoever left the flowers understands that my heart is already taken…even if the one who owns it has no idea it's hers.   
Clarke sat down her pen and began eating her food in earnest. Lexa had been sneaking glances at Clarke all throughout the meal, loving the way she smiled whenever a particularly happy thought crossed her mind. She hoped that Clarke was thinking of the flowers she surely found this morning, it had taken Lexa a long time to pick out the perfect flowers from her private garden. She hoped to show Clarke the garden one day, maybe it would inspire her to draw more. Lexa knew that Clarke missed being with her family and had noticed the girl had stopped asking her about places to sketch. It broke her heart to see the blonde so dejected, today though, she seemed happier.  
Clarke felt renewed by the small act of a kind stranger, she had finally been able to draw again. The day seemed brighter and she was happy to be alive. Maybe the gift had not been from Lexa, but it gave her hope for love. The blonde knew that Costia's death had been terrifying for Heda and tried not to push her feelings onto Lexa. The commander was tricky, while she said love was weakness she had been the one to initiate the kiss before mount weather. Clarke was hoping that she had not done too much damage when she had said she was not ready, it was like a game of chess and it was the Commander's move.  
Clarke got up to take her dishes to be washed, skipping on her way.  
"You seem to be in a good mood today," the Commander laughed at the girl's antics.  
"I am," Clarke smiled, "it is a beautiful morning Heda."  
After turning her dishes over to the wash maid and idea hit Clarke and she ran back to see if Lexa was still eating. Surprised by the blonde's speedy entrance, the Commander couldn't help but smile.  
"Can I help you Clarke?" she chuckled.  
"Actually, yes. Can you go to the beach with me today? I know you're busy and all but I don't know the way and I don't really want to go by myself. I really want to sketch the seagulls and the weather is perfect today. I understand if you have Commander stuff to do though," Clarke rambled.  
Lexa held her hand up to stop the girl from tripping over her own words any further, "I would be honored to escort you to the beach Clarke."  
"Awesome," the blonde squealed and ran back to her room to get ready.  
"Indra?" Lexa called after Clarke had left.  
"Yes, Heda," the warrior appeared by her side.  
"Do I have anything pressing to take care of today?"  
"No Commander."  
"Good, if anything comes up, I will be at the beach."  
"As you wish," with that Indra dismissed herself.  
Lexa finished her breakfast smiling to herself, today was going to be great. She had not been swimming in quite some time, there always seemed to be some kind of crisis to take care of. Clarke had only been to the beach once, her first time to Polis. She had confided in Lexa then, that she did not know how to swim. Lexa had been astounded by that before remembering what Clarke had told her about water on the Arc, so she happily just stood in the sand with her admiring the view.  
Today would be different, Lexa was dying to get in the water, and it had been so long. She put on the leather bikini she had special made, most people wore pieces made of a soft silk like material. Lexa on the other hand, felt naked without leather of some sort on. She also packed a softer suit for Clarke, if she so wished to join her in the waves.  
It wasn't long after the brunette finished putting on her regular non Commander clothes that there was a knock on her bedroom door and a perky blonde bursting in.  
"Ready to go?" Clarke beamed.  
"As ready as I'll ever be," Lexa smiled and followed the blonde out of the house.  
It was a ten minute walk to the beach, however the delight on Clarke's face as she took in the scenery made not taking the horses worth it to the Commander. The blonde was full of wonder and excitement as she let her eyes explore.  
"Can I ask what broke your no drawing streak?" Lexa spoke up.  
"Oh, so someone left me these beautiful sunflowers this morning. I drew them and I just felt like there was some hope for love. I missed drawing and I just want to experience that hope again," Clarke explained.  
"Oh, that was nice," Lexa hid her smirk.  
"Yeah, do you know who it was? I know that you have guards stationed outside of our doors at night, so whomever it was had to have some way to get passed them."  
"I don't know, they must have some influence though."  
Lexa smiled secretly as they continued to walk, she knew exactly how the flowers got there.


	2. Dreams aren't Just for Sleeping

As soon as the sand and water came into view Lexa was practically bouncing with anticipation. She quickly starting stripping down to her bikini and threw her clothes in a pile by her bag. Clarke stood there transfixed by the show the Commander unintentionally put on. Tanned skin glistened as the sun shone on Lexa's toned abs. Clarke felt the urge to trace the muscles put on display and forced herself to get out her art supplies to start drawing.  
Lexa excitedly ran to enjoy the water, the waves splashed against her and she giggled when it nearly knocked her down. Clarke loved this side of Lexa, she was so open and free, almost childlike with her joy. Clarke had absentmindedly started drawing and when she looked down she realized that she had been drawing the brunette frolicking in the waves. Smiling to herself Clarke finished the drawing and laid it to the side just watching the girl playing in the ocean. Lexa caught Clarke staring and walked over to her the water sliding down her skin causing Clarke's mind to wander dangerously.  
"Finished drawing already?" she asked.  
"Yeah, for now. I was having fun watching you," smooth Clarke she thought to herself.  
"You can join me if you want."  
"I don't know how to swim and I also don't have a bathing suit," Clarke protested.  
"I can teach you," Lexa dug through her bag and pulled out a blue one piece, "and I brought you this. I didn't think you'd appreciate wearing leather."  
Clarke gulped and took the soft material from Lexa's hands just now realizing that her bikini was indeed leather and it heightened Clarke's inappropriate thoughts to a brand new level.  
"There's nowhere to change," Clarke said avoiding going into the water.  
"Just do it Griffin, I'll turn away."  
Clarke huffed and started stripping, before Lexa turned around she caught a glimpse of pale skin and swallowed thickly, this was going to be hard.  
"Okay, I'm ready," Clarke said nervously. When Lexa turned back toward the blonde her heart almost stopped. The blue of Clarke's eyes were bright and matched the suit perfectly. The skin tight material clung to her every curve and Lexa wanted nothing more than to trace every inch of Clarke's body with her mouth. Shaking herself out of her thoughts she led Clarke to the calmer area of water, going in about chest high. Nervously Clarke grabbed on to lexa's biceps to steady herself. Lexa gently gripped the blonde's elbows and smiled at her.  
"It's going to be okay, trust me. Lay across my arms," Lexa gently instructed, guiding the girl into the position she needed to be in. It didn't take long before Clarke got the hang of it and she was splashing around and squealing with the Commander. By the time they returned to Heda's palace they were exhausted. The day had been more fun than either of them had had in a while. Before Clarke went to sleep she put the picture she had drawn of Lexa and put in her journal writing about their day.  
Before she retired for the night Lexa sent a rider to Arkadia, she wanted to surprise Clarke with the chance to see her mother and friends. Once she was sure the blonde was asleep she went in to see what the blonde had written about today. She read about the sunflowers and her heart ached to tell Clarke that they were from her. When she turned to the last entry of the day and piece of paper fell out, confused Lexa picked it up and studied it, gasping when she saw that it was of her on the beach today. Clarke was a wonderful artist, the brunette was truly in awe of her talent as she stared at the picture. She wanted nothing more than to keep the picture for herself but she knew it would alert the blonde if she found it missing. Putting the parchment back into the book she went on to read what was written.  
Spending the day with Lexa was amazing. I can't believe she taught me how to swim! She is actually very patient and caring, I don't think anyone would believe me if I told them that though. She seems to be paying more attention to me lately, I hope it's because she has forgiven me for that night before Mount Weather. Seeing her in that leather bikini made me want to go back in time and slap myself. If I had known her body looked like that, I don't think I could have stopped myself. I nearly swallowed my tongue when she started stripping down to that little bit of material. I guess I should have assumed she would be that toned and muscular, she is a warrior after all. I wonder if she knows she could probably kill half of her enemies with just the sight of her body. It was hard enough for me to keep from passing out as she held me close to her while teaching me how to swim. The things I wish I could do to her…if only I had the guts to tell her how I feel.   
Lexa swallowed at that, she knew exactly what Clarke meant, she didn't know how to tell the Skai Prisa how she felt either. There were so many emotions she felt when she looked at her she didn't know how to process them all. Fear typically outweighed them all, Titus had always taught her that love was weakness. With Clarke though, she felt invincible, like she could take on the world. Going back to her room the Commander collapsed on her bed dreaming about a beautiful girl who fell from the sky.  
Lexa gasped as clarke's lips brushed against her pulse point, sending delicious shivers down her spine. Blonde waves tickled her bare skin as Clarke kissed her way down to lexa's collarbone, gently biting before finding her way to Lexa's chest. Slowly teasing the Commander as her tongue gently raked over a taut peak. Growling Lexa flipped their positions. She had lost patients with the blonde's teasing. She crashed their mouths together in a furious kiss, battling for dominance. A whimper fell from clarke's lips and Lexa smiled knowing she had won. She began nibbling at the girl's neck as she took the opportunity to let her hands explore Clarke's pale skin. She could feel the pulse racing beneath her lips and she chuckled as her mouth traveled lower on the blonde's body, stopping just before she got to the spot Clarke desperately needed her most.  
"Heda," Indra called through the bedroom door. Lexa jolted awake and groaned at being interrupted from her glorious dream.  
"Come in Indra," She said slightly annoyed.  
"Your guests will be here shortly Heda," she informed the brunette as she stepped inside the room.  
"Thank you Indra, when they arrive invite them here for breakfast," With that the woman knew she was being dismissed and left with a nod. Lexa sighed and fell back down onto her pillows, what a wasted dream she thought to herself.  
***  
Clarke awoke with a smile on her face and a slight sunburn on her skin, yesterday had been nearly perfect. Going about her daily routine was easier with the flowers reminding her that someone cared for her. The smell of food being prepared finally pulled Clarke from her room. When she neared the great hall laughter filled the air and it sounded so familiar to the blonde. Curious as to whom could be eating with them today Clarke entered the room only to stand and stare in shock.  
"Good morning sweetheart," Abby Griffin said smiling at her daughter. She was sitting across from Lexa, along with Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln. Lexa smirked at Clarke's speechlessness and was glad that she had surprised the girl.  
"Well aren't you going to eat with us?" Lexa asked with a smug expression. Clarke finally broke out of her trance and piled her plate full of fresh fruit and a few pancakes before taking her seat beside the Commander.  
"How did you get here? What is going on at Arkadia? Is Jasper okay? How have you all been?" Questions poured out of Clarke mouth as she took in the sight of her friends and her mother sitting across from her.  
"Slow down Clarke, we just got her a little while ago," Raven answered around the food she had shoved into her mouth, "Do you eat like this every day?"  
"Well, not every day. I wanted to have something special prepared for your arrival," Lexa chuckled at Raven stuffing her face.  
"Wait," Clarke stared at Lexa dumbfounded, "You invited them?"  
"Of course. I sent a rider out as soon as we got back yesterday," Lexa told Clarke as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to invite people from Arkadia to visit.  
"Thank you," Clarke said quietly. The group chatted about small things as they continued their breakfast. Clarke turning red when Lexa told them of Clarke's attempts at swimming. Clarke was surprised that Raven had agreed to go out with Wick and Octavia and Lincoln were being treated as a part of the Guard. For the most part, Lexa stayed quiet and observed their interactions. Clarke's happiness was beaming from her. Lexa was glad that she had invited the Skai Kru to her home. The Brunette excused herself and went to the throne room to tend to the paperwork and such.  
"So Clarke," Octavia said as they handed their dishes over to be washed, "are you going to show us around this castle?"  
"It's not a castle O, but sure," Clarke giggled. She led the group to her room first.  
"You have an actual bed?" Raven marveled and flopped onto the cushions.  
"That isn't all," Clarke said pulling back a curtain that concealed a bathtub.  
"No wonder you stayed here," Abby gasped, "You're living the life kiddo."  
"Haha I know," she blushed and followed them out of her room.  
"What's in here?" Octavia said reaching for the door beside the one to Clarke's room.  
"O, don't go in there, that's Lexa's room," Clarke said moving Octavia's hand from the door.  
"So?" she said, "why can't we look."  
"It's just not polite," Clarke said leading them to the other parts of the Palace.  
Three hours of politics and bullshit later Lexa hears Clarke's voice outside of the door.  
"And this is the throne room," the blonde said as she led the rest of the group in. Looks of amazement on their faces as they took in the wickedly twisted branches that made up Lexa's throne.  
"Welcome," Lexa said standing up from her desk in the corner.  
"Heda," Lincoln and Octavia said nodding their heads toward her.  
"Please, you are my guests, no need for formalities in private. Have you enjoyed exploring our home," Lexa replied. Clarke's heart beat rapidly at hearing Lexa refer to it as their home.  
"It's lovely," Abby complimented, "Is the rest of Polis this elegant?"  
"I can show you around if you would like," the brunette offered.  
"Oh would you?" Octavia's eyes grew wide at the idea.  
"Absolutely," Lexa smiled, "Indra send someone if a problem arises. I am going to show our guests around."  
"Sha Heda," Indra replied and the Commander led their guests out the door.  
As they strolled through town Lexa pointed out the coolest shops and led them into whichever places they wanted. Many people were in awe that the Commander had made an appearance in their store, they offered gifts to Heda but Lexa insisted that she pay for them and then shared with Clarke and the others.  
"So," Raven said after watching Lexa pay for some meat that a vendor had tried to gift her, "You have money?"  
"A form of it yes, it is like a barter system. The Commander is a positon that has a lot of room to bargain. I could get stuff for free if I wanted to, but I would rather contribute to my people," Lexa explained and Clarke felt a rush of pride for the kindness that Lexa exhibited.  
"Cool," Raven said as she bit into a piece of meat Lexa handed to her and moaned, "This is delicious."  
"It really is," Abby said nibbling on her own piece.  
"The butcher always cures his meat with delicious seasonings," Clarke chipped in, "this one time he made me a piece of lamb with a mint leaf rub."  
"OOOhhh I remember that," Lexa gushed, "that was one of our better picnics."  
Raven and Octavia exchanged glances, their eyes saying that they knew that those two were so much more than even they knew.  
"You all are welcome to stay the night, there are plenty of extra beds," Lexa offered as they came back home from their journey.  
"We wouldn't want to Impose Commander," Abby said.  
"Abby, please call me Lexa. And it would be no imposition at all."  
"If you're sure," Lincoln interjected, "I am positive we would love to rest before heading back."  
"Please, I know Clarke has been home sick. I am sure that she would love to spend one more morning with you all before you leave," Lexa once again shocked Clarke with her words and thoughtfulness that seemed to be overflowing recently, "Let me show you to your rooms."  
Clarke settled into bed with her notebook and began writing.  
Lexa has been so sympathetic and kind lately. I love that she has been showing more of the side of herself that I get to see. She is so much more than the hard exterior she shows everyone else. Her Commander front keeps people from seeing the real her, the one who would do anything to make sure everyone else is comfortable and safe before tending to her own needs. I love her so much. I wish she knew what she means to me. Every day it becomes harder for me to keep my feelings to myself. I want to call her mine and her to call me hers. She is the smartest, most beautiful, and compassionate person I have ever met. I don't even think she realizes how much her inviting my family here to Polis means to me. I missed my mother so much, I will hate to see her go but I know that Arkadia needs her and I will be fine here. Lexa always makes sure to keep me protected and that I want for nothing. I do want for something though, I want her, I need her.


	3. Payback is a Bitch

Lexa lay in her bed thinking about how wonderful seeing Clarke interact with her family had been. She felt bad for asking Clarke to stay in Polis with her, it had been selfish of her, especially since she hadn't acted on the reason she had asked her. Lexa was terrified. She had never felt this strongly about anyone, not even Costia. Clarke was special, she gave her strength. Lexa wanted everyone to see that love was not weakness, but she knew they believed that it was the greatest form of weakness. Even if it was weakness, Lexa would be weak for Clarke. The blonde was worth the risk in Lexa's eyes. Happiness was something that had eluded the Commander for most of her life. Her parents had been murdered by Azgeda when she was first called to be Commander and then years later Ice Nation struck again, kidnapping Costia. The Ice Queen, Nya, had tortured Costia because she had believed that she knew Lexa's secrets. Lexa had no secrets to tell, they soon grew tired of torturing Heda's lover and had Costia's head delivered to her front door. That moment had broken Lexa, she felt utterly destroyed. Costia had meant the world to the Commander and losing her made the brunette fear love even more. Loving someone meant you had something to lose other than your own life, it meant that there was someone who could know all of the Commander's weaknesses. Lexa had so little time to show her love for Costia, she didn't want to lose any more time with Clarke. Making up her mind, Lexa got up and walked to Clarke's room, she paused just outside the door and spoke to the guards.  
"No won ste kom disturb osir."(No one is to disturb us.) Raising her hand Lexa knocked tentatively on the door.  
Clarke sat in the chair in her room drawing Lexa from memory, it had become her favorite pass time. Mapping every angle and curve of Lexa's face was like second nature to her at this point. She was so engaged in her sketch that she jumped when there was a knock at her door. It was late so she was confused as to whom it could be, maybe one of her friends who couldn't sleep or had gotten lost. She had a hard time finding her way around Lexa's huge house when she had first started staying here. It had been nice to spend time with the people she called family, but she could never see them living here in Polis. She opened the door to find Lexa standing there looking shy and so unlike her.  
"L-lexa, come in," Clarke stumbled over her words as the brunette entered her room and walked around restlessly. Lexa never settled until Clarke was seated, it was routine for her.  
"Clarke, I need to tell you something. I hope you won't be angry with me. I didn't mean any harm by it, I swear," Lexa began pacing again.  
"Lex what are you talking about? Why would I be angry with you?" Clarke watched the girl as she seemed to move around nervously.  
"I have been reading your journal since you left it on the war table after you first got it," Lexa admitted.  
"You've been what?" Clarke exclaimed, her eyebrows rising in shock.  
"Clarke, please tell me you're not upset." The Commander dropped her head in shame.  
"Lexa! There is some entirely personal stuff in that journal!" The blonde panicked at what Lexa could have possibly read. There were so many entries about her feelings toward Heda.  
"I know," Lexa turned to face Clarke with a serious look in her eye and Clarke gulped.  
"How much have you read?" Clarke's voice rose an entire octave.  
"All of it," Lexa said quietly.  
"Lexa…" Clarke's voice dripped with trepidation.  
"Clarke, just shof op," Lexa grabbed Clarke by the sides of her face and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Clarke moaned and grabbed Lexa by the hips, pulling her closer as their tongues battled for dominance. Clarke's hands ran under Lexa's shirt stroking over the soft skin of the brunette's hips causing her to shiver in pleasure. Lexa pushed Clarke up against the wall and trailed kisses down her neck while her hands explored the curves of her body. Gasping the blonde turned her head to give Lexa more room and Lexa bit down gently on Clarke's pulse point causing her to moan loudly.  
"Lexa," Clarke gasped out, "mark me."  
"What do you mean mark you?" Lexa pulled back from Clarke's neck to look her in the eye.  
"Like leave a hickey," Clarke said trying not to giggle at the confusion on Lexa's face.  
"What's a hickey?" She scrunched her nose trying to figure out the new word. She had never heard of such a thing before.  
"It's a bruise," Clarke explained, her embarrassment rising as she wished she hadn't asked for it. Lexa's mouth had felt so good against her neck it had just slipped out before she could stop herself.  
"A bruise? Why would you want me to hurt you?" Lexa was entirely perplexed at this point. What Clarke was saying made no sense.  
"No, you wouldn't hurt me. It's made with your mouth. Would you like me to show you?" Clarke said gently. She knew she had confused Lexa and effectively killed the mood but she wanted to make this right. Also, the Commander was intrigued, Clarke could see it in those forest green eyes that always spoke volumes.  
"You say it won't hurt?" The brunette looked apprehensive.  
"I promise," Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand and led her to the bed where they sat down.  
"If you're sure it won't hurt…I'd like to learn," Lexa seemed so shy and vulnerable in this moment.  
"Just relax," Clarke said and placed a soft kiss on the Commander's lips. As Lexa relaxed Clarke began moving down her neck to place gentle kisses along the column of her throat.  
Lexa surprised herself by moaning, she was always the one who was in control, even if she was on the receiving end. Usually Lexa only allowed her lovers to pleasure her after she had exhausted them so that they wasted no time. What Clarke was doing to her felt so good and she didn't know why she had never allowed this type of attention before. Clarke's teeth were now grazing over the spot in her neck that betrayed her racing pulse. Lexa gasped as Clarke began sucking over the spot she was just biting, the feelings it caused within the brunette was like electricity running straight to her core. Just as Lexa was about to moan again Clarke pulled back and smiled at her.  
"Why did you stop?" Lexa pouted disappointed at the loss of contact.  
"Go look at your neck in the mirror babe," Clarke chuckled at Lexa as she got up to go look in the mirror.  
"Clarke Griffin!" Lexa exclaimed as she examined her neck and the blonde flinched.  
"Yes?" Clarke said smiling timidly.  
"Everyone is going to see this!" She said still staring at the deep purple mark on her neck.  
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to show you," The blonde blushed at being scolded.  
"And this is customary between lovers?" The brunette questioned unsure.  
"Um, well, no. It is usually made as a way to claim someone as your own. My people don't always think it is something that should be displayed," Clarke explained nervously.  
"How does the Skai Kru hide these?" Lexa was holding her hand over the bruise and scowling at the girl sitting on the bed.  
"Scarves or high necked shirts," Clarke giggled at the angry Commander.  
"Oh, you are so going to pay for this Clarke Griffin," Lexa glared at the blonde.  
Lexa Growled as she launched herself at the blonde sitting on the bed, pinning her arms to the mattress. Clarke grinned as she took in the ever darkening bruise that the Commander was sporting. There would be questions tomorrow and Clarke was looking forward to watching Lexa find a way to explain the bruise. With Lexa hovering over top of her Clarke could feel her hot breath dancing over her face as they stared into one another's eyes. A smirk played on Lexa's lips as she leaned forward to whisper in Clarke's ear.  
"I would love to travel your every curve with my hands and mouth," Lexa began, her voice rich and sultry, "to have you slowly melt into incoherent whimpers and pleas as my tongue works over your core. I will have you at my mercy Clarke, my name will fall from your lips as if you are worshipping a god. I plan to make your thighs tremble as if an earthquake has taken ahold of your body. I can't wait to hear you scream and beg at the top of your lungs as I bring you to the edge over and over again but never let you reach that peak. I want so badly to have my fingers buried inside of your hot wet heat, exploring every inch of you, drawing out your pleasure like no one else knows how. I want you to fall apart at my hand, to see you give in to the battle your body will wage on you as wave after wave of pleasure engulfs you. I long for you Clarke, I have since the moment I saw you. I believe we are destined Clarke of the Sky People. I cannot wait to claim you as my own."  
Clarke swallowed hard, her legs already weak and trembling, "Then what's stopping you?"  
"Why Clarke," Lexa feigned innocence and shock as she let go of Clarke and climbed off the bed, "we have guests. I cannot believe that you would suggest such a thing! Now I must go to bed, there is much to do tomorrow."  
"Really?" Clarke let out a frustrated groan.  
"Goodnight Clarke," Lexa winked at the blonde and slipped out the door.  
"Lexa!" Clarke whined after her.  
Clarke was teeming with energy now and after what Lexa had whispered to her, her body was on fire. How was she supposed to sleep now? Growling Clarke threw one of her pillows at the spot the brunette had just occupied and fell frustrated back down onto her bed. Why did Lexa walk away after finally acting upon their mutual attraction toward one another? Has Lexa been attracted to her all this time and hasn't let her know? And if so, why did Lexa wait so long to tell her how she felt? Was Lexa as scared as she was? What would the grounder people think of their being together? A lot of the grounders still think that love is weakness. What if Lexa changed her mind because of what her people would think of their relationship? What if she changed her mind after she had time to think about it and decided she wasn't really interested in Clarke that way? Her thoughts were in a million different directions that all lead straight to the Commander.  
Clarke wasn't about to give up that easily. In a huff she got out of bed and made her way toward Lexa's room, flinging open the door without a single thought. What she saw took her breath away and caused her mouth to water. Lexa's back was completely bare and the moonlight shone on her tanned skin decorated with tribal ink. The tattoos that lay along her spine were accentuated by the glow of the night sky. It was beautiful, she was beautiful. Lexa was always stunning, no matter what she did, whether it was conducting a coalition meeting or presiding over an execution. Lexa's beauty was overwhelming and all Clarke wanted to do was trace over the brunette's skin and memorize every dip and dimple highlighted by the moonlight glow.  
The door closing startled Lexa and she turned her head to see who had entered her room. Of course, it was Clarke. Lexa knew that she wouldn't stay put after what she had said to her, a small smile played at the corner of her lips. The Commander had been getting ready to bathe and relieve some tension before trying to sleep again. Clarke's timing could not have been better. Tomorrow she had to see their guests off and meet with her generals. She certainly intended to have her way with Clarke soon but not this soon. Lexa didn't want to take Clarke as her own while her mother was staying with them, but it didn't mean that she couldn't play with her some.  
"You are supposed to be sleeping Skai Prisa," Lexa teased the blonde.  
"Yes, well someone made that nearly impossible with her teasing and whispering," her words were laced with snark, even if she was having a hard time focusing.  
"What could you possibly be referring to my dearest Clarke," Lexa smirked and pretended to not know that she was the reason for Clarke still being awake.  
"Oh, I think you know exactly what I'm referring to…Commander ," a shiver ran down Lexa's spine at the lust dripping from Clarke's voice as the blonde inched closer and closer.  
"I think that you should go to sleep Clarke," Lexa stuttered out, those piercing blue eyes driving straight into her soul.  
"I'm sure that isn't what you're thinking," Clarke's voice falling to a raspy whisper and Lexa swallowed hard, resisting the urge to give in to the blonde, "Lexa, I want you."  
"Clarke," Lexa's voice thick with want.  
"I know you want me too," Clarke kissed the brunette's neck, maybe Clarke was the one teasing the commander instead of the other way around.  
"Clarke, now isn't the best time," Lexa gasped as pleasure began to break down her defenses, "I was just getting ready for a bath."  
"Then I'll join you," Clarke let her hands wander over Lexa's exposed skin, "we could conserve water, help each other relax."  
"We really shouldn't. Tomorrow is a big day and we both need sleep," It was becoming increasingly difficult to fight off Clarke's advances.  
"You are the Commander, you can do whatever you want," Clarke was finding it hard to take her time and not just take Lexa to her bed and have her way with her.  
"Clarke, Your mother is here," Lexa sighed. She felt really uncomfortable being under the same roof as the mother of the woman she loves and currently wanted to defile, "I don't feel at ease with being intimate with you while your mother is under my roof."  
"Way to be a mood kill Lex," Clarke laughed and kissed Lexa on the cheek, "I understand though. We can wait, just don't keep me waiting too long."  
"I wouldn't dream of it my beautiful Sky Prisa," Lexa brushed Clarke's hair out of her face admiring the blonde in the light of the full moon, "I'm sorry Clarke. I really do want to be with you."  
"Goodnight Lexa, it's fine and I won't forget what you said." With a wink Clarke was gone.  
Lexa cursed herself for her morals and self-control. Clarke looked so beautiful in the moonlight and Lexa had never felt more in love, not even with Costia. Clarke meant everything to Lexa and she hoped she could convince her people of what she already knew. She was unsure of how their relationship would progress but she definitely wanted to be able to call Clarke her own. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day. Lexa bathed and went to bed, resigning herself to a sleepless night.


	4. Finite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I haven’t worked on this in two years-ish. I’m sorry! I am going wrap this up with this chapter. It’s a cliff hanger-ish, sorry. Hopefully I will have some more Clexa fics on the way. Cheers –DarkSideOfDeath.

The next morning at breakfast was extremely awkward and tense. The instant Abby walked in and acknowledged the commander she clocked the very dark mark on Lexa’s neck and sent her daughter a stern look of disapproval. Octavia and Raven snickered as a scarlet blush rose to Clarke’s cheeks. Lincoln gave the blonde a look of sympathy, like he’d been in her shoes before, or at least Lexa’s.   
“Clarke,” Abby started, “Are you sure you don’t want to come back with us? You don’t look like you slept very much last night, maybe you would sleep better at home.”  
“I’m fine mom. I just had dreams all night, made me restless.”  
“Sure Clarke, dreams.” Raven ribbed, “Did you have dreams too Lexa?”  
The Commander paled and looked anywhere but at the Sky People, of course Indra chose that exact moment to enter.  
“Heda,” she nodded before pausing and drawing her weapon, “You’ve been hurt! Who is the offender, I will take them down.”  
“Indra, calm down I have not been injured. Put your knife away.”  
“You have been injured, you’re bruised.”  
“It’s nothing Indra.”  
“Who was it? Was it you?” She turned her rage on Clarke.   
“Pleni Indra bants her be. Em was ai fault. Nau sitta.”(Enough Indra, leave her be. It was my fault. Now sit down.) Lexa let the Commander bleed into her voice and Indra begrudgingly sat down.   
***  
Lexa was seeing the visitors out and making sure they had enough guards and provisions for their trip back to Arkadia. She stopped Abby at the gate to Polis and pulled her to the side.   
“Doctor Griffin, I need to speak with you,” Lexa is uncharacteristically nervous as she shifts her weight from foot to foot, “about Clarke.”  
“I know you care for her, Commander. Just promise me you won’t hurt her. She’s a very special girl, treat her as such,” Abby squeezed Lexa’s shoulder affectionately.  
“Thank you. I promise to spend my life devoted to her. She’s more than special, she’s what give me strength. Her love could never be my weakness.”  
With that Abby nodded and followed the rest of her group out the gate and toward their home, secure in knowing that Lexa was sincere in her love for Clarke.   
Lexa watched the group go, smiling with the knowledge that she could consider them family as well. Her smile didn’t leave her face as she walked back through the city, into her tower, through her meeting with the generals, and through her cryptid message to Clarke as she stopped into her room on the way to carry on about her business.  
“Meet me at the beach after nightfall.” Clarke mulled over Lexa’s words the whole day. What could she possibly be planning? What should she wear? Was this a good thing or a bad thing? What on earth had Lexa been smiling about? There were so many questions that Clarke had no answers to, wouldn’t have answers to until tonight.   
***  
The stars shone like diamonds on the nearly black night sky, the moon illuminating the path to the sandy shore of their special beach. Clarke stood anxiously staring out at the reflection of the stars on the relatively calm ocean. Lexa walked out of the shadows of the trees and towards the blonde with her feet in the water.   
“Clarke,” Lexa called out nervously as she touched Clarke’s shoulder and she turned to look at her, “I’m glad you came.”  
“Of course, I’d do anything for you Lexa.”  
“Including marrying me?” Lexa dropped down onto one knee and held up a beautiful ring, she’d had it made as soon as she’d made up her mind. Clarke fell to her knees, and with tears in her eyes she pulled Lexa into a searing kiss. Stopping to take a moment to breathe, Clarke chokes out, “Yes, I love you Lexa. Of course I’ll marry you.”


End file.
